We Are Family by Lexie Wolf
“If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” – Ram Dass
This is one of my very favorite Ram Dass quotes. He had a wonderful sense of humor. If you have ever seen him on video he literally had a twinkle in his eye.
This week I am in fact spending a week with my family. I am for sure not enlightened. However spending time with the family of origin does sometimes feel like a good litmus test for how well I can retain my equanimity when poked. In Yoga the act of self-study, called Svadhyaya, is important. I find that the simple act of turning the lens on myself can cause me to detach from my emotional baggage. When I’m busy watching my reactions, I’m not lost in them.
The main thing to know about my family is that they are warm, kind, generous people that I love. So, this is not a college-level litmus test. Maybe more like second grade EOG’s. The other thing is they live near a very beautiful beach. That’s like starting the test with extra credit.
When I hang out with my Dad I am often reminded of what it felt like to be sixteen. When I was in high school it was just the two of us in the house and it was stormy. I can remember getting up in the morning for breakfast and feeling rage that Dad was existing in the kitchen reading his newspaper. If I want to feel accomplished in my inner work I can measure myself against my sixteen year old self. If I’m the one grading the test, why not set the bar low? Yay, me!
I’ve found it helpful to intentionally look for similarities in myself and my family members rather than focusing on the differences. Certainly that is a good strategy across the board, family or not. I have a way of sliding into feeling “other” no matter who I’m with, so consciously employing this tactic helps to head off that isolating feeling.
I think that one of our best values we share is humor and irreverence. I try not to take myself too seriously and love that trait in others. We’ve had a lot of good laughs this week. Laughing is such good medicine.
In Yoga philosophy, we believe in the unity of all souls. Our constructed identities and the stories we tell about ourselves can make us feel separate. Laughing at myself helps me wear that "self" more lightly, and it's truly freeing.
Despite our differences and quirks, we’re all on this ridiculous and beautiful human journey together—a tapestry of souls woven into one beautiful family.
